.this is 6am.

as early as never.
do ibu said.
"CEPAT eyoz bangun? buang TEBIAT ke anak ibu ini?"
i wonder if the mother sense knew that her daughter,
is no more there?

im just not in the heart anymore.
im HOPELESS till end.
im hoping for the best.
as the best is going as far as possible.
POSSIBLE.
reminding me to sumone.

i wonder if she's the one.
but no!
i don't think so.

as joking means LAUGHING the whole way.
this is NOTHING like a joke.
this is something that barely makes me BREATH.

being betrayed,is one sickness i can barely stand with.
yet,nothing to be said.
nothing left to be spoken.
as my HEART.
break like GLASSES.

AS LOVING U HURTS.
i kept hurting myself.

im off to bed.
knowing that TODAY will never be the SAME.
and.
knowing that TODAY will NEVER WAKE ME UP.

wronged.

of all the sudden.
everything changes in a matter of second.
before, it was LAUGHING.
happily waiting for the time.
now.......
it was NOTHING.

i'm again as DULL as ever.
i LOST my precious thing here.
its that hard to be said.

lover, ill never b far.
as long as u LOVE me.
i'm always in your heart.
once you THROW me.
i'm still there.
next to you.

yet,SO DULL that u DON'T even KNOW me anymore.

this is a FORBIDDEN one.
guess.....
i just need to be there.
to SUFFER
to CRY
to just look in her eyes.
and know.
that she's not that strong to continue.

my love for you, HAZWANIE ABU HASSAN,
will NEVER fade.

theCOUNTDOWN.

tonight, SEPTEMBER , 21ST , 2009.
here in diz empty space.
looking at the clock.
waiting for wednesday to come.
wednesday?
or maybe TUESDAY?
as HOPED?

is it to many to ask?
to be waiting and making this countdown,
is just one SICKNESS to bare.
now , knowing its been POSPONED?
what should i say?

happy EID?

.tonight.

sitting in this chair of situation,
making me realize how life is just the matter of LIFE and SENSATION.
i'm in this room of QUESTIONS.
whether this coming days.
could be held as strong as i cant.
whether i'm that strong to go on.

WHAT if,
MISS come?

HOW if,
she's NOT THERE?

WHEN will,
i SEE her again?

HOW can i,
be that STRONG?
THINKING she's that FAR?

this PAST days,
had been go through TOGETHER.
as for you to know sayang,
i've been thinking of how this coming day.
should be.
WITHOUT YOU.
NEXT TO ME.