date of the wednesday

how am i supposed to be?
will i ask here?
am i that bad?
am i that useless?

to be sitting in the chair where i'm hated?
makes me keep thinking and asking.
what wrong have i done?

again,
when someone just say,
'I DON'T LIKE HER'
and that her is referring to ME.
it just HURT.

and knowing someone like me.
just well pace with the situation,
again, makes me asking.
am i supposed to be here?

AM I ACTUALLY IN THE RIGHT PLACE,
AT THE WRITE TIME?
may god and faith answer it all.

.leisure.

when waiting for time,signatures lost n cheers.
these may be things that we can provide to make us feel better.

.TRUST.
.TRUTH.
.LOVE.
.WORDS.

being at that moment of thinking.
it should make me scared.
that.

LOST IS SOMETHING.
I MUST FEAR TO.
I MUST FACE.

should i say.
sitting in this chair.
makes me suffer a lot.
as sometime
DOUBT win the GAME.
and trust just FADE away~

.this is 6am.

as early as never.
do ibu said.
"CEPAT eyoz bangun? buang TEBIAT ke anak ibu ini?"
i wonder if the mother sense knew that her daughter,
is no more there?

im just not in the heart anymore.
im HOPELESS till end.
im hoping for the best.
as the best is going as far as possible.
POSSIBLE.
reminding me to sumone.

i wonder if she's the one.
but no!
i don't think so.

as joking means LAUGHING the whole way.
this is NOTHING like a joke.
this is something that barely makes me BREATH.

being betrayed,is one sickness i can barely stand with.
yet,nothing to be said.
nothing left to be spoken.
as my HEART.
break like GLASSES.

AS LOVING U HURTS.
i kept hurting myself.

im off to bed.
knowing that TODAY will never be the SAME.
and.
knowing that TODAY will NEVER WAKE ME UP.

wronged.

of all the sudden.
everything changes in a matter of second.
before, it was LAUGHING.
happily waiting for the time.
now.......
it was NOTHING.

i'm again as DULL as ever.
i LOST my precious thing here.
its that hard to be said.

lover, ill never b far.
as long as u LOVE me.
i'm always in your heart.
once you THROW me.
i'm still there.
next to you.

yet,SO DULL that u DON'T even KNOW me anymore.

this is a FORBIDDEN one.
guess.....
i just need to be there.
to SUFFER
to CRY
to just look in her eyes.
and know.
that she's not that strong to continue.

my love for you, HAZWANIE ABU HASSAN,
will NEVER fade.

theCOUNTDOWN.

tonight, SEPTEMBER , 21ST , 2009.
here in diz empty space.
looking at the clock.
waiting for wednesday to come.
wednesday?
or maybe TUESDAY?
as HOPED?

is it to many to ask?
to be waiting and making this countdown,
is just one SICKNESS to bare.
now , knowing its been POSPONED?
what should i say?

happy EID?

.tonight.

sitting in this chair of situation,
making me realize how life is just the matter of LIFE and SENSATION.
i'm in this room of QUESTIONS.
whether this coming days.
could be held as strong as i cant.
whether i'm that strong to go on.

WHAT if,
MISS come?

HOW if,
she's NOT THERE?

WHEN will,
i SEE her again?

HOW can i,
be that STRONG?
THINKING she's that FAR?

this PAST days,
had been go through TOGETHER.
as for you to know sayang,
i've been thinking of how this coming day.
should be.
WITHOUT YOU.
NEXT TO ME.

22nd of nothing

saying;
my words means nothing.
in my sense of humor.

sayang.i do love u.
as the songs plays.
i do wanna say.
DEAR MY PRINCESS.
I WAS BORN TO TELL U I LOVE U.
and I DO SAYANG.

saying;
dear girl,having u here.
makes me realise.
that a girl like u.
is too precious to let go.
and dear my BABY,
i wanna make u mine.
please STAY WITH ME TONITE.

saying;
my girl.yes!
what u've said before,was a true one.
waiting was just one sickness that sumtimes,
I JUST CAN'T BARE.

saying;
dear my nyawe,
knowing that sumtimes
'me' makes u tear into pieces.
makes me feel like im worthless.

dear,
all this words.
came from my damn heart,
sumtimes.
i so feel im not for u at all.
ure to perfect.
for a person like me.
at least,that's what u make me think.

but dear.
i do love u.
till the my last breath.
im sorie.
my promise is to prtect u.
n damn i'll keep it a promise.
cause girl............
.YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING.

something of nothing

emm.rarely noe whats goin on tonyte.
emm.
having this FIGHT wif sumone u most RESPECT.
sometimes do make u think.
how the changes of LIFE n STATUS,
may CHANGE absalutely EVERYTHING in the way of
to RESPECT or to HATE?

i always tought that people change by time.
as the age INCREASE, the MATURITY do increase?

but tonite,i do smell the mistake of my tought.

people do CHANGE.
not by AGE.
but by envy , life and status .

hanving this tought
that the one we once respect CHANGES by that factor ,
makes me think TWICE ,
IS THERE ANY ROOM FOR A PERSON LIKE ME?

that nyte.

its been a very cold nyte.
HURTING.
damn sorie gugurl.
what eva do happen.
im so sorie.
i didnt meant to let u go.

but ya.
do sumtimes the feeling came of LETTING AWAY.
im sorry.
damn noe dat ure HURT too.

gugurl.
letting u go..
makes me DAMN WEAK.
wont REPEAT that damn MISTAKE again.
promise ya.
as i love u so much.

gugurl.
today.at tiz specific time.
as im writing tiz post.



i look in ur eyes.
n realise...how PRECIOUS u re to me.

GUGURL.

dont u ever LET me go.

as ure the most precious thing in my life.

that kinda smile.

yes.its a MEMORABLE SMILE.
looking at that smile.
makes me sure.
that i can do it.
and i did it.

gurl.
when u CRY at that specific moment.
again damn sorie that i just can't remember the fact of timing.
u makes me damn WEAK.
seing thet tears flowing from that smooth cheek.
makes me WONDER.
how strong am i to PROTECT u.

i just feel useless seeing that tears.
sorie that im not there next to you.

and so i take the trouble to call u.
its like lightning striking into my ears.
as i hear u cries.
gurl.
im sorie i wasn't there

but yet,now.

i felt the glory.

as i suddently saw u smile.

that kinda smile with the tears on ur cheek.

makes me realise.

that i am capable to protect u..

and my gurl.

hope to PROTECT u till end.